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Learning to Compromise at Camp Starlight

Monday, October 10th, 2016

starlightcompromise

Growing up as an only child has many perks. I was always the focus on my parents’ attention, I had all of my own stuff, own space, and when a family decision had to be made, I always felt like my opinion was heard and, more often than not, given serious consideration. Sure, there were times when I wished I had a sibling to play with, but for the most part, I’ve enjoyed the solo child life.

As I get older, I’ve started to notice that things that are easy for my friends with siblings, like compromising, taking turns, and being patient, don’t come as naturally to me. Their entire lives are made up of figuring out how to live harmoniously with their siblings. They’ve had to make sacrifices, they’ve had to come second (or third, or fourth) and they’ve had to learn about delayed gratification. They’ve had to think about the well-being of their siblings before themselves, they’ve had to share rooms and clothes and toys, and in turn, these character traits seem to come naturally to them.

It took me about 3 hours at camp to realize that I was going to have plenty of opportunities to strengthen these particular traits. Going to camp is like having 100 siblings, and in order for the “family” to run smoothly, everyone has to be willing to compromise, be patient and think of others first. To be totally honest, it was a hard reality to adjust to at first. I quickly learned that my mess wasn’t appreciated or tolerated in a shared space. I also learned that my opinions, wants and needs weren’t the only ones that mattered, and my hesitation to take anyone else’s opinions or thoughts into consideration came across as rude and selfish. That was a slap in the face, and humbling for sure.

My counselors were amazing, and were patient and calm when I wasn’t. They took the time to talk to me when I was feeling overwhelmed, crowded or impatient. They helped me look at the bigger picture, and reminded me about how good it felt to work as a team, a family, a collective unit, instead of just thinking about myself.

About a week or so into camp, I could already notice the mental shift happening inside of me. I saw the biggest change in my attitude regarding being surrounded by people all of the time. My whole life, I’ve had the luxury of being able to be in my own space and to “get away” whenever I wanted to be alone. I always had my own things and my own space, and getting used to sharing my time and space with others took some getting used to. But as the days turned into weeks, I began looking forward to these group settings and I enjoyed the constant buzz of people around me. I loved our late night chats after lights went out, and I appreciated having people who would share their sunscreen with me when I ran out. Sharing space, time and things with people turned out to not be so bad after all.

At the end of camp, I felt like I had gained 50+ siblings, and a whole new set of character traits that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I am a more patient person because of camp. I am better at sharing, I compromise more, I’m more giving, more aware of my personal space, more accepting of people’s differences, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I may be the only child at home, but since my summer at camp, I have plenty of camp siblings who are just a text, phone call or email away. Camp gave me much more than just a summer away from home; it has strengthened my character and given me lifelong friends.

Tags: camp community, camp friends, Camp Starlight, Camp Starlight activities, camp values, camper friendships, compromise, lessons from camp, life at summer camp, life lessons, summer camp 2017, summer camp program, the value of summer camp for teenagers
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Learning to Lose at Camp

Saturday, February 16th, 2013

Whether it’s a school spelling bee or a soccer game, as parents we want to see our children win not just to experience the joy of seeing them excel but because we know that they want to win. Being raised in a competitive culture naturally makes us all want to be number one. Children equate being number one with being the best. However, as grownups we know that it’s impossible to win all of the time and that winning doesn’t necessarily mean being the best so much as being the best on that particular day. The idea that losing, in reality, is closer to not winning in that it’s possible to “lose” yet gain something valuable from a contest or competition is one of the most difficult concepts for children to embrace. Camp is a place where not only is this point driven home daily, but it’s a lesson learned at camp in a fun, constructive environment.

The pressure of anxious parents and coaches on the sidelines of sports competitions combined with the knowledge that school performance affects everything from what kind of classes they can take, extracurricular activities in which they can participate, and what colleges they will be attend place a great deal of emphasis on children’s performance. The ability for children to be able to process that good can come from not winning is clouded because the end goal is the emphasis. The underlying message that children sometimes inadvertently receive as a result is that they will be valued or loved less if they lose. Camp, on the other hand, emphasizes process and embraces novice. One of the primary messages conveyed to campers is that winning is a great thing at camp, but it’s not everything. Improving skills, finding activities one really loves, having fun and making friends are valuable attributes at camp. In such an environment, winning
takes on less prominence. Children are less likely to feel less valuable as campers for losing.

Camp leaders and staff work very hard throughout the summer to make sure this atmosphere is maintained. Children are encouraged for performance, accomplishment, and attitude regardless of being winners or losers in a contest. Many special camp games or competitions are also structured in a way that encourages children to work together in order to win and provide excellent opportunities for those children who may not be excellent athletes or extreme intellectuals to have their moments to shine.

Learning how to “not win” at camp makes it much easier for children to put “not winning” at home into proper perspective!

Tags: American summer camps, Benefits of Summer Camp, Camp Starlight, reasons for summer camp, sleepaway camp, summer camp activities, summer camp program, summer camp sports, value of summer camp
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Learning the Value of Tradition at Camp

Friday, October 12th, 2012

The holidays are around the corner. During that time of year, the word “tradition” gets thrown around a lot. But how many people actually understand what tradition is really? Perhaps it’s the emphasis on forward thinking and constantly in-motion global community that has caused many to confuse “tradition” with “routine.” They’ve both become something that we do on a regular basis in order to establish or maintain a consistency or pattern in our behavior. So what really distinguishes “tradition” from “routine”?

First, routine is something that one person does but might not necessarily have in common with others. Most people brush their teeth at some point in time in the morning. Few people do it at exactly the same time. Some shower first. Others eat breakfast. Eventually, everyone brushes their teeth but the experience is, for all intents and purposes, individual. There is no shared significance.

Tradition, on the other hand, is by definition community oriented. It’s a shared custom, belief, or activity with a common understanding of the reason for its practice. Many of us eat turkey at Thanksgiving because we symbolically associate it with that first meal between the pilgrims and native Americans. It’s a tradition.

Second, routine, unlike tradition, is not necessarily multi-generational or even long-term. It’s something done for a specified length of time. While we maintain some routines for all or much of our lives, others are short term. If one gets the flu, for instance, one might temporarily take up a routine of antibiotics. But once the flu subsides, so does that routine.

On the other hand, tradition is something that is a common bond between multiple generations. It’s an acknowledgment that an event or action was significant to someone tied to our past, and the observance of traditions our way of paying tribute to that event or action as well demonstrating our understanding of it.

Finally, routine is task oriented. We take up routine in order to accomplish a goal. There is an intended result in routine. Tradition, however, is an observance. Routine is a way of moving forward, whereas tradition pays tribute to the importance of the past.

By now, you’re surely asking yourself what any of this has to do with summer camp. Simply this: in a culture that places a significant amount of importance on the establishment of routine, the value of tradition is increasingly less understood and appreciated. Summer camps, however, are grounded in tradition. They’re a place where campers and staff members alike get refresher courses in the power of tradition. Whether it’s at a campfire, a sing along, or an activity specific to the camp, there are literally hundreds of opportunities every summer for those at a summer camp to bond through tradition. Many former summer campers and staff members actually name “tradition” as one of their highlights of summer camp. So if tradition has become an element of holidays past, consider giving your children a future opportunity to enjoy tradition at summer camp in 2013.